Donuts Songtext - Jim Gaffigan

Donuts - Jim Gaffigan

The Police, they love donuts right?
" Hey cop why don't cha get a donut,
cops love donuts!."
Which is a interesting stereotype,
cause you know who else likes donuts? Absolutely everyone, Of course cops love donuts, cause they know the difference between right and wrong!
and not liking donuts is wrong!
Have you ever met someone who doesn't like a donut, you wanna know why
because they're in jail,
When you in a donut shop and you see a police officer don't you feel like something special happened
*Gasp* an angel just got it's wings, it's special,
i had a donut before i came onstage,
I was with a friend last week i was like,
"you want to get a donut? He's like "Im not hungry."
I'm like " What does that have to do with it,
As if there's good reason to eat a donut
" Well, Doctor said i need more powder sugar in my diet",
Donuts are bad for you and according to my health nut wife
their not appropriate for a trail mix,
I'm just on a different trail right,
mine leads to the emergency room,
That joke will be even funnier when i die from cardiac arrest,
That's why i didn't laugh,
Donuts are all about taste
in los Angeles there is a place called Yum Yum Donuts,
Like what do you need?
the IQ of one to find that appealing.
Yum Yum, me like Yum Yum,
like who's the target audience, Cavemen?
I know two thing yellow fireball rise in sky and Yum Yum,
Yum Yum donuts,
Yum Yum.
Now there's gourmet donuts that are deep fried and gold.
I had a gourmet donut, i didn't realise it was a gourmet donut,
i just pointed at a donut and the donut guy started ringing it up,
He's like " That will be 3.99."
I was like i only want one of them,
He's like " That is the price for one of them."
Then there was this long awkward pause where i waited for him to lean forward and say
"Just Kidding." But he didn't,
He just looked at me like " Got ya Tubby."
Cause he knew i'd pay,
cause i was in a donut shop,
It's not like i was there to buy a yoga mat,
this is like donut ground zero right?

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