Hypnotica Songtext - Two Steps from Hell

Hypnotica - Two Steps from Hell

ACT ONE

Leonard Nimoy is sitting behind a desk in a darkened room.


NIMOY

Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer...is no. Our story begins on a Friday morning, in a little town called Springfield...


He opens a book which has a picture of Homer in it. The drawing dissolves to Homer at the plant.


HOMER

T.G.I.F.! Guys, I'm off to Moe's.


LENNY

But Homer, it's ten in the morning!


HOMER

Don't worry, I have a plan. I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED over fifty. And if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." First, I hook this common VCR into the security camera system like so, then I insert this old videotape of us working on a continuous loop. (The tape from the 1970's has Homer eating donuts in a "Sit On It" T-shirt, and talking to Lenny. Then, the tape abruptly cuts to Lenny doing a Saturday Night Fever style move - flares and all)


Pan out to Burns office, where he and Smithers watch the tape on the monitor.


BURNS

So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing Smithers? Something gay no doubt?


SMITHERS

What? What?


BURNS

You know: light-hearted, fancy-free, mothers lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town! (chuckles)


SMITHERS

(laughs) Exactly, sir. (laughs nervously)


At the retirement home.


JASPER

Thank God it's Wednesday. (swallows cup of pills)


MRS. GLICK

It's Friday.


JASPER

Uh oh, wrong pills. (he suddenly grows hairy) Uh, little help?


At Noiseland Arcade: "Friday, Meet Donkey Kong In Person". Donkey Kong is smoking and scratching himself, without an audience.


SARCASTIC CLERK

Sorry, Donkey Kong, but you're just not a draw anymore. (Donkey Kong throws a barrel, and knocks him down) Hey, he's still got it!


Inside, Milhouse plays Kevin Costner's Waterworld.

MILHOUSE

(putting money in) 38, 39, 40 quarters. This better be good.


The character in the game moves two steps, and stops.


GAME

Game over, please deposit 40 quarters.


MILHOUSE

What a rip!


But he starts depositing quarters again.


DR HIBBERT

Thank God it's Friday!


He hums as he leaves, closing the door to reveal Hans Moleman stood behind an X-Ray machine.


MOLEMAN

Hello? Hello?


At the Simpson home, the living room looks spotless...however it's just a picture in a magazine entitled "Better Homes Than Yours". Santa's Little Helper chews on a chair, and Snowball II scratches the furniture.


MARGE

Bad dog! Bad cat! (A fawn licks something off the carpet) Bad Fawn! Hmmm...Shoo shoo!


Bart and Lisa are in the den watching television.


LISA

All right! It's time for ABC's T.G.I.F. line-up!


BART

Lis, when you get a little older, you'll realize that Friday is just another day between NBC's Must-See Thursday and CBS's Saturday night Crap-o-Rama.


At Moe's Tavern.


MOE

Another Duff, Homer?


HOMER

Nah, it's Friday night, Moe. I want to try something special.


MOE

Sure, sure. (writes on a bottle) Here you go, D


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